The Ten Words That Challenged My Soul... And Rocked My World
“Who
are you, Lord my God, and who am I?”
A
question the majority of humanity utters at one point or another.
Pause
for a moment.
Maybe
the words have been different.
Maybe
the emotions have been raw as a fist shook the heavens.
Maybe
there were tears.
Maybe
there was peace and stillness and time to wait.
Maybe
there is always time to wait.
Those
words are a prayer often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi.
A
most heart felt struggle.
A
deep desire for connection.
Who
is the Divine?
What
is the Divine?
Who
am I in relationship to the Divine?
Who
am I?
It
is a prayer that has changed my life, torn me apart and put me back
together again, granted me courage, and helped me find my way.
It
wasn't that I didn't have my ideas.
It
wasn't that the decades of training hadn't formulated opinions.
It
wasn't that I hadn't been trained and equipped by very capable
people.
It
was that I was tired.
Tired
of the show of a Sunday morning.
Tired
of the pretense and exterior forms.
Tired
of the pat answers that aren't answers.
After
a car accident landed me in bed for ten weeks, I went back to my
roots.
Back
to a more contemplative searching.
Back
to the proverbial drawing board.
I
do believe firmly in Spirit. I believe in the spiritual realm, the
reality of God as Source, Creator and I believe in the reality that
humanity is deeply and passionately loved. All of humanity is deeply
and passionately loved. I am deeply and passionately loved. YOU are
deeply and passionately loved. Not because we can get it, (whatever
“it” is), right. Just because we are...
As
a spiritual director, I often ask people to tell me what their
experience of Spirit is? I listen to struggles of faith and of
personhood. I think about the nature and character, the qualities of
Spirit. I ask people about that too. Let me know your ideas of what
God is like?
I
have sat with that question myself.
What
is God like?
Who
are you, Lord my God?
Not
the pat answers that I've been trained to speak, and instruct with.
But gone face to face, toe to proverbial toe. Told the One I know to
be Light, to F&%* Off. I got real. Spirit got even more real. It
took those moments of dropping all pretense. It took those moments of
turning around and facing what I really do believe, what I know and
what I don't know. It took those moments of not knowing, where no
answer stands and there is no answer to give, that changed my life.
Who
are you, Lord my God, and Who am I?
I
recently sat with a young woman, who because of fundamental
upbringing didn't believe the God of her childhood would love her.
We
sat. I listened. She talked. We sat. I listened. She talked. We sat.
I listened. She talked. My heart ached for her, my heart raged at
religion, my heart wanted to express the truths of God and who He
hung out with while He was upon the Earth.
It
didn't matter what I wanted. What mattered was her heart. What
mattered was her experience. What mattered was what she could or
would hear. That became the question in my heart. What could she
hear? What would she hear? What would Spirit do in that moment? Not
telling but allowing space for discovery, is a powerful component of
Spiritual Direction.
I
sat. I listened. She talked. I listened. I took words she had been
using, questions were formulated and asked. Space for her was being
created. Light was entering and clarifying. Space for her to see what
her eyes desired to see, space for her heart to find rest and be
nurtured, space for her to be empowered to hear what Spirit was
saying to her.
Who
are you, Lord my God, and who am I?
It
is a question.
What's
your answer?
Want to know more about Spiritual Direction? What can it look like for you, in your life as you walk upon your journey?
Email.... Mimsdriscoll@gmail.com
