We've held the palm branches
We've sung Hosanna
But I want more.....
This year, as Holy Week approached, I found myself within the moments of a retreat. The meditation was to follow Jesus to the courtyard of the House of Caiaphas and then onto the House of Pilate.
The stories and scriptures that fill out this time are known.
Peter's rejection and denial.
Beatings.
Torture.
Verbal assault.
My inner most being was troubled as I attempted to touch what those courtyards would have looked like, sounded like, smelt like, tasted like, felt like. I cringed. My own emotions so very raw. These weren't the moments of a last meal, a foot washing, last minute lessons and prayers, agony in a garden, betrayal by kisses.
These were the moments of the crowds who were the ones who were counted among the 5000 who ate of bread and fishes that did not exist before they did. These were the moments of a man standing stripped down, beaten, bleeding; hearing the roars of a crowd choose another, a murderer over himself. These moments were too much to bare for my soul.
The beauty of it was that He knew that.
The beauty, of what was to emerge as I touched paper and read the reflection questions and began to think about journaling, would impact my life with deep rivers of hope and healing. Allowing myself to sense the flow of Holy Spirit bringing me to the Lover of my soul, I would begin to hear words that would take me away from those courtyards. Words that would take me away from the screaming and torture. Words that would bring me to the garden, words that would bring me to the cool evening breezes of the first days of creation, words that would bring me into the very heart of Him.
These are the words.. This was the experience... Room, other retreatants, paper, pen would all fade away. Sky, fresh air, beauty and wonder would take their place.... He would take my hand, He would gaze into my eyes, He would speak forth from His heart and He would make all things new.......... Not just for the world. For me................
I am daybreak...
I am joy...
I remember.
Into my mind flashes when the air was brand new and Adam had arisen from the soil.
Take my hand and travel with me
I hear the jeering of the crowds.
But watch me...
Watch my face, seem my demeanor, see my peace --
Touch my joy.
Insults, anger, hatred ---
Blood upon soil.
Cain killing his brother
Humanity killing me
Abel's blood cried aloud for justice, mine will do deeper; mine will saturate the soil of the Earth diving deeply into it's core.
I am brought back to the screams of the courtyard, yet my ears and heart and eyes see the vestiges of the tempter. I see beyond the flesh of my created pots, of my created ones; I look beyond their flesh into their inner most beings. Seeing their deepest needs.
Inwardly I smile as my flesh cringes from the forces that surround.
I remember.
Within my thoughts, within my mind's eye I flash back to the coolness of grass beneath my feet, the dew that hung heavy. The laughter, innocence and beauty of Adam. The destiny of those that will flow forth from Eve.
The woman's body who will one day hold mine.
I look at Adam's hands. I shudder. Knowing one day such hands will pierce my own. The day that is beyond these memories. The day that is before me now.
I behold Creation; garden --stars, beauty.
Eternity past before the, "Let it be's," were ever spoken. Eternity future when the church will be my Bride sitting with me at the feast of the all ages. Consummation of my Father's dream. The depths of His heart fashioned, forged -- brought forth.
My inner quiet is broken by a child's voice. "Crucify Him," she says. A beautiful young girl, with deep brown hair whose curls form out her face, has opened her mouth and begun to echo the words she has heard her own father speak. Echoing his cries the child screams for my death.
Sorrow shakes into my depths. My eyes close. My soul troubled stills.
My own voice will very soon echo the heart expression of another, of my Father. I too will echo the heart beat of a Father. The words, "Forgive them my Lord; forgive them my Father.. For they know not what they do," will respond through all time.
Do not be afraid, dear heart... Death, pain, sorrow knows no completed victory.
I am liken unto that little girl in those courtyards. I have listened to voices contrary to the ways of life. I listen to voices contrary to the ways of life. Grateful there is a voice which resounds stronger; with a resolute nature more firm then anything I could ever imagine. Those sounds .. that melody is becoming louder and I am hearing the symphony, the recipe for healing and hope upon the waves of the air. They surround me and remake me.....
As we head towards the days of Ascension. As we head to the days of empowerment. Let us be ever more aware that there are ways that are so much higher than our own, that will lift us up and grant us strength. Be lifted up.
Look up, you gates! Rise up, you eternal doors! Then the majestic king will enter!
Psalm 24:7
"But
when these things begin to take place, straighten up and lift up your
heads, because your redemption is drawing near." - See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Lifting-Heads#sthash.mAQ1BEtC.dpuf
"But
when these things begin to take place, straighten up and lift up your
heads, because your redemption is drawing near." - See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Lifting-Heads#sthash.mAQ1BEtC.dpuf
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