And I go to make sure that they have it.... Every man dies

One of the best home purchases I have ever made was an amazing queen size  blanket that is brown. I bought it at TJ MAXX, and it is the softest, most amazing blanket I have ever had.  I had fallen asleep earlier in the evening but actually way too late for a nap, upon waking up at 10:30, I knew the evening was going to be interesting.

I moved my body from the couch, heading down the hallway towards my bedroom.  Just eyeing the brown softness of that blanket invited me back into bed, back into lying down.  Except sleep would elude me as I had just had a three hour nap.

I did what I do often. Curled up within the folds of my blanket, I turned to my left and reached towards the stack of books that tower upon my night stand.  My favorite posture; blanket, pillows, curled up body and book.  Smile....

 Except other words than those I was reading danced through my head.  Before I knew it I knew that the warmth that surrounded me was not just because I was wrapped within softness and fabric.  It was the warmth that starts above oneself.  A glowing warmth.  A magnificent light.  A powerful gentleness.  Saturating my soul and encasing me into its strength and beauty Holy Spirit was saying, "Hello."  Coming with pictures, a warmth of Spirit's own, and a powerful gentleness that is continually my undoing.

I hadn't thought of Braveheart in years. 

Flashes of scenes danced through my heart resonating into the depths of my being.  

Then the words... There's a difference between us... Then other words.. "Title," "Position," "People." Images of moments in my own life, words I have heard spoken and then again the words of very talented screen writers all swirled within my mind.

Then this:

" There's a difference between us. You think the people of this country exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom. And I go to make sure that they have it. "

Then as if a split screen; I could hear when it is written that the Christ spoke as it is recorded by His disciple, John.  

"In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. "If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. "And you know the way where I am going." ( John 14:3)

He, whose equality with God certainly gives Him titles beyond anything of this Creation,  has a passion.  That passion is humanity.  It is flashed upon every screen during sports games, invariably someone is wearing something with the famous John 3:16 passage.  

So how have we gotten it so wrong for so long?

Too often and more than naught, my eyes have beheld more the statements written by the writers of the Braveheart movie.  "You think the people .. exist to provide you with.........." Fill in the blank.  While position exists to provide for people freedom.  I have heard it said and spoken that which our ears want to hear.  That this statement of inverse service and that the leader is the point of an upside down triangle called to serve all.  More than words spoken and ideals shared I have seen, partaken in and known to be true the more real  reality of a hierarchical system  where the people exist to provide leaders and organizations numbers and finance.

These days have been filled with reflection.  These days have been filled with searching of the heart.  These days have been filled with pictures of spectacles of man and words of man that seem empty and futile.  As I lay wrapped within warmth both physically and upon my depths of being, other quotes came to mind...  What people are truly hungry for.... What within conversation ends up stirring up passion and actual real interest.  Authentic.  Not supposed or fabricated authenticity because of understanding of culture and necessity to be relevant and use the key words that this generation wants to hear, but a true resonance of hunger and truth and spirit.

This interchange between characters; between father and son....

Robert the Bruce: Lands, titles, men, power, nothing.
Robert's Father: Nothing?
Robert the Bruce: I have nothing. Men fight for me because if they do not, I throw them off my land and I starve their wives and their children. Those men who bled the ground red at Falkirk, they fought for William Wallace, and he fights for something that I never had. And I took it from him, when I betrayed him. I saw it in his face on the battlefield and it's tearing me apart.
Robert's Father: All men betray. All lose heart.
Robert the Bruce: I don't want to lose heart. I want to believe as he does. 

"Men fight for me because if they do not, I throw them off my land and I starve their wives and their children"

Obviously not so dramatic as this; but I have watched men and women serve and continue to serve despite the way they are treated because they are enslaved to a person, vision or some false sense of importance and need of identity.  I have watched men "fight," (serve) leaders because if they did not they knew that there were hundreds of others that would, so they allowed their families and themselves to be put through things that should have never been.  Too many have lost heart. That needs to matter.

What comes to matter is this... Solomon knew it to be true....  All is meaningless under the sun. All pass away.... History has seen men and women come and go. Today's names give way to tomorrow's stars.  And still Creation goes round.

 Every man dies, not every man really lives.  

It may sound corny or cliche. But I want to live.... I desire to live and not die.

  I don't mean a final death.  I mean the million tiny deaths we allow into our beings out of fear.  I don't want those anymore.  I want life.  I hunger for life. I desire life.  I want to find life in all moments.  In the breeze of the morning, in the setting of the sun, in the whispers and laughter of my children, in the embrace of my husband and in the affections of my God.  Too much death has stolen moments of my life away.  I have died.  Now I really need to live.  

I know naught where I am going.  I have more questions than answers.  But I know this what erupts within conversation these days is awakening.  Awakening.  There are realities beyond cultural norms of Church and service that people can sense in their very bones and though language might eclipse us all for a moment, it is emerging as is strength and hunger and passion.  Exhaustion and death and dry bones have led to an exceedingly great army having had and beginning to have renewed breathe, a determination to search, seek out, pursue and find expression.  

"And I go to make sure they have it...."  Ah Jesus speaks similar words as I shared....   His hunger and desire and passion for people. His laying down of divinity for humanity's sake..  His example... His ways... True and authentic and real .. The hunger for that expression is palpable upon the atmosphere and within the hearts of people.  

Now courage... courage to live....

I've quoted the movie, Braveheart.  Now to end with one of my ultimate favorites from another show...

Mr. Edward Magorium: [to Molly, about dying] When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words.
[pause, walks over to Molly]
Mr. Edward Magorium: I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."
Molly Mahoney: [starting to sob] I love you.
Mr. Edward Magorium: I love you, too.
[picks Molly up, sighs heavily]
Mr. Edward Magorium: Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

Your life is an occasion ... Rise to it!