Once again I visit the Christian/yoga conversation.

I'm a stream of consciousness writer. I get that about myself.  At times within my life I have had great editors. I need great editors.  The reality of stream of consciousness is that I have to be willing to sink into my gut and close my eyes and write.  If I feel inhibited in anyway, the words won't flow.  And right now in life, I want the words to flow.  I want them to flow in a way that brings life and not confusion.  I want peace and not contention. I hunger for understanding and growth as a person and for people I love. However I don't want to settle.  I have tasted and seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living and it is amazing!

So I close my eyes and I breathe in deeply and with my writing begin to slowly exhale.

I'm going to make an audacious statement. I make it not to piss you off, but I make it because it is true.  I stand at a place in my life where  I've never known and loved Christ the way I do in these days. I have seen where in my life I was the proverbial pharisee.  I have seen where I stood so precariously on an edge of thinking I was doing all the right things however not knowing nor being known as a person before God.

In these days I have learned to stand and feel strong.  What is that? Having done all stand.  Mountain pose.
In these days I have learned to be like a child and allow myself grace.  What is that? Become like a child. Child's pose.
In these days I have learned to (ok. tried to learn .. this one is hard for me) ground down and grow roots. What is that ? Being rooted in good soil.  Tree pose.
In these days I have learned to see things from a different perspective. What is that? It's a upside down reality of a kingdom where the poor are rich, the weak are strong, etc... Head stand.  Be willing to see from a different perspective.


What has been the path? Well... for me and my life I have found the foundation of spirituality to be in Christ. But as He is not as anyone would attempt to make Him.  There is so much more of God to know.  Having eyes to see I really want to see, having ears that can hear I really want to hear, having been given a heart that can comprehend I want to receive understanding even when it comes in a package different than I ever anticipated.  I think that is how the founder of my faith entered Creation as a human baby, turning the religious world of His time on its head.  I don't think the struggle to understand, receive, and grow as Spirit is leading is a new one. I don't think that opposition to the reality of that leading is a new one either.  I also don't stand having many answers.  I don't. I am on a journey, and the stopping points upon the way are unknown. I have more questions than ever before, and am learning that to live in the place of unknowing can be unsettling at best but it is a great place to stand for personal and spiritual growth.

What I do is  I live with the intention to keep two prayers ever before me... Lord, my God who are you and who am I? (St. Francis of Assisi) and Spirit of the Living God, as it was said of you, to be your task.. please, lead me into all truth.  Those two prayers are my compass, my road map, my orientation....When having begun to pray them over the last couple of years, I would have never (in my wildest imagination) been able to picture the life and love and liberty I touch now.

So yoga? Yes! Yoga.... I stand firm.  Listen, Peter had a vision as he laid upon a roof top and in a moment there was no longer clean and unclean food.  The people of that age struggled over what it meant for a whole other people group to be coming into Spiritual awakening without being circumcised first.  People were coming to life and being made full in Spirit and the religious of the day stood gasping. I can imagine screaming, "wait.. wait." The ways once known were being disrupted.  Spirit was being poured out upon all flesh.

So I go to a yoga studio.  I partake in all aspects. I have never felt more alive or more free within my faith or strong as a person who loves God.  The constraints of a religious life have fallen off of me and I have found and am finding the freedom of Spirit. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.  I have found an interior life, that is more resounding with the Christ I said I served for decades, but didn't fully touch. I have left (as much as I can and am trying to do so more) exterior facades of faith for an interior reality that is more faithful to the ways of God.

I have written and please, God, hope to write even more for any spiritual community that can hear and feel Spirit in the words that I hunger to put to paper, (web). I will walk into proverbial samaria and every place it would be said that, "we don't go," because the founder of my faith did just that.  I love people more than I ever have and I meet more of them now that I ever did, I sit with people now without agenda and begin to know them and let them begin to know me...

I am not out to convince anyone that they have to do yoga.  I do believe that as a population we need to understand how to breathe in a way that actually brings life to our bodies. I do believe that bringing movement and breath and practice together helps calm the mind, take every thought captive, and bring forth a mind that is more at peace.  I do believe discernment and not fear is the way of love and life and liberty.

I will end (for now) with a story...

It was a poignant moment for me. Maybe because so many of you have told me I'm going to hell. Oh please.. tongue in cheek there. Although many of you have. I'm smiling and understanding the journey as best as any of us can.

I want you to picture the scene with me; huge meeting tent, torrential down pour of rain, lightening and thunder and speakers that were still plugged into a live source of electricity. I stood with two others as we were attempting to wait out the storm.  The conversation drifted into a place that would open my eyes to reality of spirituality in many traditions.  A portion of the conversation was upon Sanskrit and the pronunciation.

My experience into yoga has been beautiful.  The places I partake in yoga practice are open and flowing. I hadn't nor have I ever encountered a rigidity of thought or practice.  It doesn't mean it isn't out there.  It just has not been my experience. So within the conversation, there was a statement made that there are some within yoga community who the exact pronunciation of words means so much to that to mispronounce a word would send said person, who mispronounced, to hell.  The moment was a "taking in information," moment for me. When one prays to the divine do the words matter? The words matter? Maybe to some but what is what? I did also think for a moment upon how the religious of all traditions sound a like. This way (my way of this way) or hell. Gosh, what options. (We have that in Christendom. For as many YouTube videos anyone can find about yoga and Christianity and what that's all about, there are plenty of videos within the "tribe" Baptists saying Charismatics are going to Hell, Charismatics and Pentecostals saying that  unless one speaks in tongues they are going to hell. I mean.. misstep and its fire and flames for us all I guess.) Ok I soooo got off topic.  But instead of focusing on hell and who is and isn't going there, I want to pour my heart out and love, I want to set my gaze rightly and love and see people for the light that each one is....

Finishing up....  In the midst of the conversation, the most beautiful words would be spoken. It was a remembrance of what was taught to them. Would a mother chastise a toddler for mispronouncing a word? Love triumphs over all.
Isn't that the basis of all true spirituality? Love one another! For the world is so loved!

These aren't my most articulate pieces. They just aren't.  I'm sorting through myself. I'm wanting to walk with love and wisdom. I don't want to be angry or afraid. At the same time resisting the urge to be trite and petty. I'm human. Part of this conversation pisses me off. And I could easily go off on a tirade. I know myself. Except that isn't what my heart really wants.  I understand there is new ground and that this person says this and that person says that and what are you to believe?  I'd say trust and know that asking for bread you will not be given a stone.  If you seek true understanding it will come. Search out and seek for yourself, be open ... I choose to believe that all of us want to have eyes that really see, ears that really hear and hearts that really can ever so slightly comprehend the ways of The Spirit as much as humanity can.

Maybe we can lose the "hell" talk for a while and just talk......... That would be my greatest heart's desire...