Conversations ... One

It was as if I had poured out my heart and after listening the response was just simply, "blue."

That was how taken back I was...

I had been sharing my heart, my longings, my struggles...
And when His response came, it was so other than anything I could have ever anticipated that even my body reacted, as my head shook back and forth trying to get an equilibrium.. trying to take in what He said and in seconds receive that which was transacting.

"I laughed more than people think."

It hung in the air.

I had just borne my soul out to Him and that is what He said, "I laughed more than people think."  It felt like (while not truly possible) that He had gotten distracted and focused on His own thoughts and out of His mouth just flowed in line of what He was thinking, "I laughed more than people think."

But it caught me so off guard that it pushed me out of where I was and I cocked my head off to the left and fixed my gaze on His felt presence.  And sat there quietly.  Looking into air but knowing His presence and knowing Him.  Knowing that in that silence and in those words there was much to be unlocked.

I have learned that patience, quietness, waiting, stillness are some of the best practices and atmospheres to cultivate when one wants understanding. So I waited.  I was still. I was quiet.  We were quiet.  He was reflective. I was waiting.

In all that transpired more ..
so much more was communicated in the stillness, in the silence that flowed between us... A strength, a solidness.. a joy...  and I went from a place of heavy heartedness into a quiet place where interior rivers flow and my sorrow and my questions and I floated down with it and Him.

One of my favorite verses in all of Scripture is found at the very end of the gospel of John.

"And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written."
John 21:25

Jesus at the wedding
Jesus holding the children
Jesus resting by the fire with John and the other disciples
Jesus walking with and among the people
Jesus in His quiet away times with the Father
Jesus with His mother staring into her eyes with the grandest of affections as infants do
Jesus with  Joseph touching wood, learning about tools and how to craft
Jesus with His siblings
Jesus as a baby, The Word wordless ....cooing
Jesus as a toddler, Creator learning how to walk
Jesus..
Jesus in all the places He traveled, amongst all the throngs of people that pressed into Him, LAUGHED....  and laughed more than we could ever imagine.

As I have let the words sink in and the idea saturate my being.. I have contemplated the essence of solid joy.. of delightful peace .. irrespective of situation or circumstance it is a state of being that glows and emits warmth and comfort and presence.  It changes all things and brings forth lightness and light.

"I laughed more than people think."

Oh my sweet sweet Lord, I get it... you thoroughly did.... and you still do...