The heretic in one camp is the hero in the other... May we all be a little less vocal and a lot more wise

We stood in their living room. I listened to the words that flowed out of my then best friend's mouth towards my husband.  I had already been told, privately of course, that I needed to be aware that they were concerned. They hadn't been concerned when church growth was occurring or the benefits were being reaped by the Sunday morning faithful.  They had thought that the revelation came in a tiny bit here, a tiny bit there.  They had thought that if one stepped out with that tiny bit, more would come.  They had thought it would be good for my husband to be wrong once and a while so that others could see mistakes were made.  They were right and they were wrong.  We all were.

We were all wrong because it is my belief now that we all sounded like clanging gongs.  Each wanting to be right. Each thinking the other wrong, off base, deceived, not open.

I have lived around the prophetic revelatory world all my life. Though until 1991 didn't know to call it that.  One thing I know is that it doesn't come in pretty little boxes.  Another thing I know is that people should really read the scriptures before saying things like God doesn't do thus and so. Have you read the book?  Uhm, Enoch walked with God and then was no more? Really?  Have you read Ezekiel?  Have you read what God does and commands as He "talks" to Job?  Have you read what Jesus, after the resurrection, did walking around Jerusalem and surrounding areas? "Walking" through walls? Appearing and disappearing? And what about all those other dead people He brought with Him when He returned resurrected from the dead?  Can we remember that upon cursing the fig tree, it never bore fruit again?  And we want the power and authority of the Christ living in us?  Do we watch our tempers,  opinions, words, personal preferences enough?

My husband was told that he needed to go find friends, that those we had loved and been loved by could no longer "get" him and he needed to find some friends.  Yup... Body of Christ at its finest. " You are different from me and not sure I understand how you function", said the hand to the foot, so let me chop you off and tell you to go find another body. Oh what now I'm bleeding and limping?!?! How did that happen?  Oh I did that?  HHHhhhhhmmmmmm.....

In the two plus decades I have learned much.  I have learned how proud I can be, how afraid I can be, how lonely I can be, how misunderstood I can be, how ignorant I can be, how territorial I can be, how loving I can be, how self consumed I can be, how selfless I can be, how arrogant I can be, how loved I can be, how received and rejected I can be by the same people perhaps even upon the same day.

There are times I know it would be unwise for me to write or speak about certain things as they pertain to my journey through Christendom over the last two plus decades. You see I played the cynical, judgmental, sarcastic card several times.  It only lands me at the gates of hardened heart syndrome.  A devastating thing personally and the truth is no one else ever feels the affects more than the individual harboring such things. I put that card away and not in a back pocket.  Yes, my eyes have seen too much and they are tired at the ways of man that slash at one another all in the name of ignorance. Oh we don't say that of course but that is what it is... In America especially we so lack the understanding of what actual oneness is that we chop at ourselves and maim, blind and deafen ourselves and wonder why we are limping on the way we are.  We are more one with each other, creation and our God then we understand. Our lack of understanding in this arena is causing us to perish. But it is also the last message successful American Christians want to hear and I haven't heard the voices of those who have platforms championing that unpopular cause. We are only as strong as our weakest member, the last shall be first, the meek inherit... go tell that to the conference circuit riders in their hospitality suites.  The actual Christ versus the American image of him is actually quite different.


So I've decided these days to play the fool.  I've decided these days to be the child.  I've decided these days to recognize that big men with big reputations and big things to lose will do whatever they will do to appease the masses.  I have recognized that prophetically wired people who need to keep a ministry going will at times squander and cheapen their gifting.  Peddling wares is part of the game.  I have recognized that a man who has tens of thousands is harder to disbelieve then the man or woman who as only a few follows.  Because certainly the one with the masses on their side can never be wrong. Especially when they are speaking out against something in the revelatory compartment that the Sunday and weekly faithful find odd and disconcerting.  I find God odd and disconcerting sometimes these days but certainly not hopefully going to find myself on the wrong end of that discussion any time soon.

I find it interesting that the chosen faithful who take upon themselves to protect the other chosen faithful from so called misleading or off base heretics will substantiate their claims that the previously mentioned are off base via scriptural analysis. I personally wonder if they have read when those of us who have prophesied, cast out demons, raised those from the dead in the name of the Christ will one day stand before Him and be told they were never known.  We were never known.  Do we ask the question what does it take to be known by Christ? Because obviously raising the dead isn't the answer.  And what about those rocks again or the pole and the dust?  The hero in one camp is the heretic in another.  I've read those posts too. We criticize what we don't understand, we are threatened by aspects of God outside our boxes, ghettos, comfort zones so we keep, I kept, those lines faithfully and deeply drawn.

Except.....

I realized that the Lion of Judah tramples such boxes not just by a roar but by laying down with the Lamb.  I've decided to lean into the unknowable mysteries, cease striving to be a false expert and abide and rest in being a child.  I've learned that returning and rest do bring new life more than fancy chariots and that quiet and trust do bring more strength than all the kings/Pharaoh's horses. I've decided that I believe silence is a weapon. I have decided that trust and patience and kindness are forces to be reckoned with and upon which there is no match.  I have decided that God is more capable then man.  I have decided to wait upon Him and His ways then kowtow to the approved ways of man's working out of how the Kingdom of God works. I will believe all my days that the presence of God cultivated and waited upon with a personal refusal to move without said presence going before and protecting behind is worth more than any half ass built tower that ended up having to be thwarted.  I have been exhausted by vain works and vanity. I have rested in His shadow and been made well. I have tasted both.  The later is where I will remain. 

His ways that are so much higher aren't harder to conceive. In their higher status a child finds them delightful. A foolish poor beggar finds them life giving.  I will trust the Simeon and Annas of the day more than I will trust the proverbial Sauls.  Those that wait upon the Lord really do find renewed strength. Those who wait upon the Lord, cease their striving, and learn stillness ALSO get to learn about and know God.  What better thing is there to know?

Just know and understand this hero of the day.... today's hero can so easily be tomorrow's heretic.. hosannas shouted become screams to crucify.  So before anyone of us deems the words crucify him appropriate look twice at the pole, drop the stone, don't cut off the foot.