Breathing is easy... Yeah, right

It should be a no brainer.

I have kids. I have six kids. I've heard myself over the years. "Breathe," I would say. A shot for a vaccination. (Breathe) Heck, giving birth to each one of them, what did the nurse, doctor, midwife or doula tell me to do? BREATHE.

I've watched different children react to circumstances in their lives.  On the cusp of different moments, I've watched them hold their breath.  I've looked them gently in the eyes, "Breathe," I've said.  "You've got this," I've said. "Just breathe," we've all said at one point in our lives to ourselves or another.  I've also watched anger and reactionary moments and thought, "breathe," this too will pass. I've heard the first breath a human being has taken, I've stood beside sorrow, suffering and death and watched one I loved deeply gasping for every single breath. and I've gotten the news that one has ceased to breath.  

No, breathing isn't easy.

I have never thought so much about breath and my history with it, as I have these days.  How much I've held my breath.  When have I held my breath? Where am I breathing? When am I not breathing? Deep and powerful intakes of new, fresh breath with corresponding exhales, or gasping for breath as I hold it, waiting for the next proverbial shoe to drop.  Shallow, chest breathing filled my life. This reality was something I discovered very quickly as I started my yoga practice, I recall saying to my husband that my body felt airier. I felt space course into my spine.  It was noticeable.  There was this one moment where someone even approached me and expressed how differently I was carrying myself, how different I was walking.

Breath, movement and coming to terms with my body and receiving it more fully. Letting breath in.

Letting breath in means making space for it.  Seems like a simple enough statement.  But making interior space for something means something else is going to be displaced.  Interior self doesn't always navigate that so well.  Taking in a deep breath of fresh air, holding it within one's body, and then exhaling breath might seem like a no brainer. But taken consciously it is a very intimate act that connects body with spirit and soul. Breath connects oneself to oneself and to Holy Spirit.  At our origin breath and dirt were what brought us into being.

In that light, the importance of touching and understanding breath takes on a new relevance. I have never known just how many ways there are to breathe and take in breath. From breath of fire, to three part breathing, to alternate nostril, to my personal new favorite (thanks to an amazing yoga teacher) is bee breathing.  I've experimented. I've struggled. I've not been able to figure a method out and needed help.

Needed help breathing?

Absolutely!

My therapist and I will touch on a subject that well, goes to places my whole body doesn't want to go.. What happens? I stop breathing. What needs to happen?  BREATHE! Breath needs to enter my body. What really needs to happen?  I need to be able to relax and take in air and let it saturate my being bringing calm and reassurance. A gentle vocal reminder, "breathe," is spoken. Eyes close, breath is inhaled into my being, and I sit quietly letting those places in me absorb the new, fresh breath. I let my soul be saturated by clean, fresh air. I sit.  I remember. I am encouraged to breathe.

When I couldn't do Breath of Fire during my Kundalini (aka uses Breath of Fire alot) training, I finally just admitted, "I can't do this." The kindest of men stilled a class and brought instruction, grace and a moment forward teaching me to be gentle with myself and let even that breath come.  In trying to do three part breath there are places in my body that don't want to open. There are places in my body that struggle to take in new air.  The old air might be stagnant and stale but how to convince my body to let go and release?  Again another's kindness empowers me towards kindness to self.  Another's kindness teaches me to listen to my body and allow it the space it needs to learn how to relax and how to receive breathe, life, healing and joy.

Breath is a powerful component to our living.  One that maybe we don't spend enough time upon.

I've learned to notice the quality of my breath. I've learned to just let my breath be what it is in the moment, and I've received tools that empower me to receive breath deeper and fuller into my body.  I am grateful.

If we don't breathe, it is proven, that a person will  pass out and the  body will, in normal circumstances, take over. But what happens if in life we are breathing just enough that that doesn't happen? We can live a long time on in a shallow place. I lived a long time in a shallow place.  My body, blood, heart and soul hungering for more air then I was allowing in, so grateful for the grace that carried me on and whispered in my ear....  

"Breathe!"