Trust yourself...

I smiled.  I have learned something.

Many years ago, I wanted to learn about a specific subject.
I sat quietly. I fasted and meditated. I leaned into that which I wanted to know.

But then there was another voice. An interior place, that spoke and reminded me of another man, who had spent more time and was very well known in regards to his understanding upon the subject that I wanted to know.

I bought a tape series. (Yes, I date myself)

I felt Spirit tell me not to listen.
But convinced that this man knew more and held deeper wisdom I placed each tape in to my car.

When all was said and done. When the last words were listened to, Spirit came back to me and spoke and shared the heart beat of my God.  Because I would rather be taught by men, there would be a season now where that was what I would get. Holy Spirit's voice would go silent for a season.  Why?  There was nothing upon those tapes that I hadn't learned from spending quiet time and being in the Presence of God.  I had learned. I just had not trusted.  I had heard. I just wouldn't believe.

In this season of overcoming fear, and living a life I had once only dreamed of being slightly possible, I am stepping out and learning to trust myself.  Learning to trust the intuition that hundreds have trusted.  I am learning to trust it for myself.

So it came upon me to glean from the teachings of another man.  And I am NOT saying that that is never in the cards of life. Learning from each other and the wisdom we each hold is a precious gift.  Upon this season, I could feel Spirit watching and waiting.  I put the down the book. I spent the time. I was quiet. I was still. I began to know for myself.  Then it was ok to read the book. I smiled and I cried.  My personal lessons were enhanced by the author's words.  But it was already living deep within.

Step by step.. I'm learning to trust... Try it.... We are told that if we cease our striving we will know, and if we are still we will know. But we live in a society that says there are experts to be trusted beyond your own voice.  What I am saying and what I know first hand, is that most of those "experts," making a living off of your doubt.  Be courageous and trust that you will know when to lean into being still and ceasing striving after and when you will need the words of another.  Trust, trust and grow... trust and grow strong....

It is certainly a most amazing feeling. Be not afraid.. You are amazing... Get to know yourself.... Listen to your voice.. hear your heart beat.. Believe and trust and know....